my friend’s dog was sick and couldn’t get up so they were gonna put him down and as his final supper they got him a big mac and when the dog smelled it he shot up and ate it in one bite and lived for three more years
"Are you kidding me?"
“No, im adulting you”
When you’re in the middle of writing a sentence and accidently press send
am I the only one who tries to learn lyrics to rap songs so I can surprise people during car rides
how to start a fight: ask someone what hogwarts house they sort your faves into.
growing up sucks because you realize $1000 isn’t a lot of money